Archive for the ‘Jennifer Aniston’ Category

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Despite what you’re hearing all over the internet, Jennifer Aniston’s interest in playing the character “Trina” in the movie version of “On the Ropes” is WAY premature.

How do these rumors get started?

For some background on this click here.

For even more click here.

 

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Some delusional guy traveled across the country because he thought he would marry Jenn. How silly.
You can read about it here.

For the record, I was home.

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Those were the most popular posts on this blog last year.

I’m thinking of only posting on those topics or trying to weave them all together in every post.

Something like this:

So there Jen and I were in Lancaster again, walking hand in hand through the country side. She’s big on the whole sunset thing and was sighing as she rested her head on my shoulder.

Then, out of nowhere this dude in a top hat and an Abe Lincoln beard blows past me in a horse and buggy. He just about clipped my shoulder.

“Hey, you ultra late-adapting prick, you almost hit me!” I yelled. Jenn started to whimper.

The guy slammed on the horse brakes and jumped off his buggy cockpit.

“Thou wanst a piece of thee’s ass, does though?” He said glaring at me.

I glance up at his cargo–a dozen or more basset hound puppies.

That was all it took.

Lincoln dropped into a traditional southern Chinese martial arts stance. I guessed Kenpo.

I got my hands up, right hand first, reminscent of Hector “Macho” Camacho. He lunged at me with a tiger’s mouth technique. I stepped to my right caught his chin with the jab and delivered the number two straight down the pipe, crushing his nose and sending him to the dirt road. He was bleeding all into his funked up beard.

“Mine ass is kicked!” he utterred right before I released the hounds. They all relieved themselves on or around the Amish puppy mill operator. Jenn just looked up at me, her eyes all glassy.

“You are such a man. I am so attracted to you!”

“I know.” i said.

You looking at me? Feeling lucky, punk?

And we walked into town, held a basset hound rescue event and found good homes for all the dogs.

You know the paparazzi is such a pain. They make a big deal about the plane and the 15 of us.

Frankly, I thought the stuffing was undercooked.

This from the Showbiz Spy:

JENNIFER Aniston hosted a Mexican-themed Thanksgiving bash for 15 friends.

The 41-year-old actress is said to have flown a group of close pals out on two private jets to her lavish estate in the Mexican resort of Cabo San Lucas, where they spent the holiday “eating, drinking and relaxing”.

While the Bounty Hunter star indulged in plenty of food and drink during the break, she also made sure she worked out every day.

“Jennifer spent the trip enjoying herself with her friends – relaxing, drinking and eating. But she also worked out every day, including yoga sessions with Mandy Ingber,” a source said.

“She looked amazingly fit and seemed to have a great time just relaxing and hanging out with her friends.”

The star’s yoga coach Mandy — as well as her manager Aleen Keshishian and chat show host Chelsea Handler – were reportedly just some of the guests flown out to Mexico for the bash, where they enjoyed a Thanksgiving meal that included chips, salsas and margaritas.

Despite being known for her strict diet and exercise regime, Jennifer recently admitted she is a big fan of Mexican cuisine.

When quizzed on what she would have for her last meal, she said, “It’d be chips and guacamole, quesadillas, enchiladas and a big tostada salad – and nachos!”

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“Honey”, “Sweetheart” I can take…

This from the Hollywood insider blog, “Popcrunch.com”:

Actress Jennifer Aniston is supposedly so desperate to become a mother that she is secretly auditioning a selection of attractive male acquaintances for the role of “sperm donor.”

You know, I don’t mean to be overly sensitive, but I hate pet names.

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USA Today quoted Jenn in this article:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2010-08-11-Aniston11_ST_N.htm

you know, I've been looking for my favorite white shirt and repp tie...just so you know, I don't own a cowboy hat

Now, a gentleman doesn’t talk about such things but “playing” at being bad?

Please…

I don’t even want to hint at what goes on after a couple of icy cold Schlitzes.

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Yeah, like that's a Cockapoo!

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It’s all over the internet now. “Jenn rescues a Cockapoo!”

Well, if that’s what everyone wants to believe, fine.

She may have wanted a sissy dog but then I brought Wilbur over and well, no one can resist the ears, the baritone bark or the sex slobber. She had to rescue one and who can blame her?

So her publicist told her to say “Cockapoo.”

Just don’t believe everything you read…or estimate Wilbur’s charm and influence.

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All the gossip sites are going on and on about her abs.

Absolutely NO credit to the guy who had to hold her ankles for situps for hours.

Kinda pisses you off, you know?

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I have to admit it’s nice but the article didn’t really get at the coziness. It was funny running around picking up the dirty socks and hiding the empty Schlitz cans!

…for obvious reasons. Please don’t ask.

This is a personal thing.

ts