Bad Song Duels…

Posted: October 21, 2011 in Bad song duels
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Today we introduce a new game here at Duffy Central–the battle of the classically bad songs. Pretty simple you vote on what song sucks more and why.

Got it? Good. Let’s go!

Baby, I’m a Want You Bread 1972 vs. The Night the Lights Went Out In Georgia Vicki Lawrence1973

The Girl Could Rock...and dress!

My vote: Baby I’m a Want You– I just think the title sets a suckiness standard for this song that can’t be outdone. After that, the folksy 70’s vocalization carries the suck to a real high. Carol Burnette’s co-star on the other hand had a certain kind of rawness and edginess..a sucky kind.

Billy Don’t Be A Hero Paper Lace 1974 vs. The Night Chicago Died Paper Lace 1974

My vote: These two songs both got into my head and I had no idea they were both done by the same band until my research department let me know. I think Billy sucks more and the over the top cornball crap is just suckier. These songs both did really well in Europe

Rocky Mountain High John Denver 1973   vs. Fire and Rain  James Taylor 1970

My vote: Well, I can hear it now–“These are GREAT songs, Schreck–you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Actually, they aren’t. They suck and they’re annoying. James Taylor’s is worse because people who drink cheap wine and smoke a bunch of pot think its deep poetry and really heartfelt stuff. It isn’t. It sucks. And as for John Denver–please.

  1. michael rivest says:

    You left out “The Safety Dance,” by Men in Hats. Actually, we mustn’t confuse serious artists and great songwriter with people who are just over exposed. John Denver and James Taylor, like Glen Campbell, so saturated the market (If I hear “Fire & Rain” one more time I’m gonna start taking hostages), that we can’t hear the talent any more. Probably my favorite example is the Carpenters. I HATED the music, but nobody, nobody sings like Karen. That beautiful darkness. Her voice always gives me a woodie.

    So, stand corrected, Schreck. You’re wrong, mallet-head.

  2. The first two categories – gag and double gag – the third – well – do I dare say I listened to a lot of John Denver in my day and he evokes some good memories of the 70s – my high school days. James Taylor I kinda like too – I drink cheap wine but I do not (and never did – believe that one if you can) smoke pot.

    To make you feel better about this, Schreck, let me say that John Denver did go down in a firey crash right where I used to live in California. But I do still have some of his records – yes – I did say RECORDS!

    • tjs9261 says:

      Honestly, I’d rather listen to Paper Lace than John Denver…but then again it was the 70’s and you were drinking too much wine…and as for Rivest, well, he doesn’t get a lot of things…

  3. le0pard13 says:

    ‘The Night the Lights Went Out’ and ‘Billy Don’t Be A Hero’ would be my selection for suckies (is that a real word?) because they masquerade somewhat for the folk songs there aren’t. The group Bread was a bizarre manifestation of what was the 70s decade in music (you had some truly great and really sucky music playing side-by-side on the radio stations every hour). So their stuff somehow fits this ten year span. That decade was the worst that I lived through, but also it had some of the greatest film and, on occasional, songs around. Fun post, Tom.

    p.s., I can’t honestly vote against John Denver and James Taylor songs… too many make outs were scored to their stuff ;-).

    • tjs9261 says:

      Now that you mention it…there may have been some Riunitie-fueled makeouts that involved James Taylor in my sordid past….however, that doesn’t mean the music didn’t suck.

  4. I happen to like 4 out of the 6, so I’m staying out of this. In fact, Billy, Don’t be a Hero just finished playing on my iPod, and here comes The Night Chicago Died.

  5. hehehe we like most of them altho I often wondered if she didnt want them to kill her brother why she didnt take the rap for the murder in the nights the lights went out in georgia..loved bread still do….absolutely love paper lace and both songs..didnt care for rocky mountain high but like fire and rain well enough

  6. Maria Conto says:

    This is why I spent the 70’s listening to Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash. Bless you, Tom. These songs all suck. However, The Night the Lights Went Out In Georgia is so bad it’s good, making it a guilty pleasure in my book. I contend that fourteen years of musical hell began in 1968 with Paul Maurait’s Love is Blue and ended in 1982 with Charlene’s I’ve Never Been to Me. I agree with all of your votes and humbly submit:
    Feelings by Morris Albert, (1974) vs. Morning After by Maureen McGovern (1973)
    It may be inhumane, but I say play them all in heavy rotation at military prisons and detention camps everywhere. With tunes like these, who needs water boarding?

  7. tjs9261 says:

    As I read your reply I could almost hear Waymore kicking in with “I’ve Always been Crazy..but its kept me from goin insane–nobody knows if its something to bless or to blame…”

    Actually Waylon we know.

    It’s something to bless.

    “I’ve Never Been To Me” is easily the most horrid song I remember.

    Its never played in Luckenbach, you know.

    Thanks Maria.

  8. Keith Boggs says:

    No matter how bad the song, it takes us back to a time in our life. So as bad as Bread may seem now, they helped alot of us back in the day, makeout.By the way, Achey,Breakey Heart was the worst somg of all time

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