Posted: February 25, 2010 in FREE PSYCHOTHERAPY THURSDAY, Uncategorized
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Changing something in your life doesn’t have to be complicated.

It requires thought, focus on the moment and the ability postpone immediate gratification.

Step One: Thought

What is is that you want to change. Why do you want to change it? And, most importantly, what will be the results in your life if you don’t change it? Lastly, what will be the benefits if you do  change it?

Example: If you procrastinate writing, you know that your novel won’t get done, you’ll feel like crap and you won’t be able to live the luxurious life that all us published author live. On the other hand if you finish the novel think of the sense of accomplishment and all the riches you’re guaranteed!

Step Two: Focus on the moment

Failure comes in nanaoseconds not over long periods of time. If you’re scheduled to write at 7 am before work focus on your thought process and behavior at 6:59 am. Are there excuses running around your noggin? Have you decided to clean the toilet at 6:57 and are rationalizing that that is more important?

Stop the bullshit! It’s 7 am and it’s time to write.

Step Three: Postpone Immediate Gratification

If you can get a black belt in this you’ll accomplish anything you want. Practice postponing gratification for no other reason than to get good at it. Don’t eat the candy bar, don’t watch Morning Joe instead of writing and don’t sleep late.

Be a long term hedonist and go after the cool things that accomplishment brings.

  1. Paula Matter says:

    Okay. How ’bout adding Focus on the Reality and combine it with your first example?
    I’d like to see you work *that* in. I double dog dare you. 🙂

  2. tjs9261 says:

    hmmm…you mean living my luxurious lifestyle? i don’t know what you’re talking about…

    • Paula Matter says:

      You so funny!

      Then again, maybe luxury is in the eye of the beholder. Perhaps someone, a poorer person than I, may covet my dumpy little house. At the same time, I can covet my neighbor’s nice, sprawling house. The one with an extra room she’s not even using but would make a great office for someone who needs one and doesn’t have a decent one.

      Whew. Don’t think I should’ve had that last cup of coffee…

  3. D.B. Dean says:

    the above is good advice but only works in relation to what YOU can do to change your own behavior.

    You can not change others behavior. Only how you react to their behavior. If what you are attempting to change in your life is sayy….your spouses behavior…you wont suceed…you can only control yourself.

  4. Pasquale Palumbo says:

    I love Bud. You only went 2 for 5 on your list of character traits (at least as they apply to me). Perhaps I am an outlier?

  5. D. B. Dean says:

    DUDE – i just finished “Against the Current” – I am writing NOW – today – just like you said…its HARD work.

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