FREE PSYCHOTHERAPY THURSDAY:Good Guilt, Bad Guilt

Posted: February 11, 2010 in FREE PSYCHOTHERAPY THURSDAY
Tags: , , , , ,

Do you feel guilty all the time?

Maybe you should.

Huh?

Isn’t psychotherapy and over priced way to alleviate guilt?

Bad therapy is.

Take a swig.

If you feel guilty about what you think about, that’s probably useless and not something to worry about. If you secretly lust after an office mate and spend time imagining exactly what you would do given the opportunity, I don’t think you have to feel guilty.

If you have thoughts about smashing your car into the back of the guy who cut you off, I don’t think you have to feel guilty about that either (unless you actually do it.)

If you skipped church because you don’t believe much in it any more I think you have to come to terms with your beliefs, not feel guilty.

So what should you feel guilty about?

Feel guilty about being lazy. Feel guilty about doing things that are bad for you over and over. Feel guilty about constantly giving in to immediate gratification. Feel guilty about not keeping commitments.

You know what you want out of life. If you don’t do the things that will get you there then you should feel regret and guilt. You’re wasting your life.

Knock it off.

Don’t make excuses.

Get done what you say you want to do.

Keep your commitments.

Don’t complain about guilt. It’s there to tell you something.

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Comments
  1. Jen Forbus says:

    You’re going to put the Catholic Church out of business with this post!

  2. Just A Girl says:

    Thank Goodness!

    I was feeling guilty about that fact that I want to slam my momobile into the back of the BMW driven by “Daddys Princess” on an almost daily basis. Something about bleach blondes tick me off. Especially if they wear big huge sunglasses, have roots showing and have sparkly cell phones with little accesories hanging from them…but TOM – you have set me free…thank you thank you thank you!

    Seriously – i have always felt guilt is a useless feeling. Even if you really wronged someone – guilt doesnt fix it. Helping them up from where you have placed them…and shouldering their load for a time can help with the healing…but guilt doesnt. It doesnt help YOU or the person you wronged. “I am sorry” also doesnt fix it. Actions speak in ways words can not.

    I refuse to feel guilty over not eating right…there are worse thing sin the world then the baby ruth i just ate. Problem is Americans have lost persepctive on what real tradgey is…real hurt and real suffering (for the most part)…if your feeling guilty cause you ate the whole cookie and not half…you need a reality check.

  3. Jen Forbus says:

    I agree with Tom that there is a place for rational guilt. I believe it is what makes us “do the right thing” or “correct wrongs” we impose on others. We’ve defined “sociopaths” as those who don’t feel any remorse for their wrongs.

    So, guilt may not fix the problem directly, but it drives us to take the steps to fix it and therefore indirectly DOES fix the problem.

    Guilt is good as long as it doesn’t go to extremes. The extremes are where it becomes an issue. It might be that guilt prevents the lusting employee from acting on his/her fantasies – in this scenario, that’s good. But if it prevents him/her from enjoying any relationship, that’s not good. It’s an extreme.

    If your goal is to lose weight because you want to be healthy or vain or whatever, then guilt about those cookies helps you to stay on track, that isn’t a bad thing. If it prompts an eating disorder, it’s gone to the extreme and that IS a bad thing.

  4. catconnor says:

    I was going to say I don’t do guilt, but it’s more that I don’t do much guilt. šŸ™‚
    Maybe the occasional pang when I haven’t called/emailed home in awhile. So I make contact. There you go – my twinge of guilt insights action.

    I would’ve made a lousy catholic. šŸ™‚

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