QUESTION: What Makes You Feel Alive?

Posted: January 18, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

I got in the ring Saturday and did three rounds. I was feeling kind of ambivalent about going but I’ve learned to push myself to do stuff that feels better once I do it.

Me and a buddy did three rounds. Like all sparring sessions there’s something inside of me that says “Why are you doing this?”

Let’s be honest, I think that something is called fear.

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The sparring starts and things happen in there so fast that there is no longer time for thinking and not much for feeling.

I did okay, tired faster than I wanted to, but that’s all right.

Since Saturday I’ve felt a little more alive. Sore and tired, but somehow sharper and more positive.

I think it has something to do with taking some risk, feeling it and going ahead any way.

I just got done writing in my current work-in-progress novel. I’m getting to the end and writing the action scenes. I’m filled with so much uncertainty that I find myself trying to procrastinate. Yesterday I rationalized doing housework and shopping and didn’t write till late in the day. Then I couldn’t concentrate.

This morning I wrote first thing. The whole time I wanted to do something else. I pushed hard against it and got today’s 1,000 words.

I feel sort of like I did on Saturday. Positive, a little more energy and a little more confident.

I’ve studied how I feel about doing certain things and I’ve learned that fighting and writing both make me feel alive. They both take losing myself in activity, they both mean pushing through insecurity and they both involve a risk of failure.

Funny thing is when I “fail”, whatever that is, I rarely feel bad. Trying and getting lost in the activity seems to be what counts.

I’m curious how others feel.

What do you get similar feelings from?

What makes you feel alive?

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Comments
  1. Jen Forbus says:

    I think my answer is kind of abstract. It isn’t one certain kind of activity but more a case of achieving something I set out to do that I’m passionate about. When I nail it, you can’t get me down off the ceiling.

    I have a tendency to have that same kind of response when I’m discussing books with someone who really cares about them. I know that may sound hoaky, but it’s true. When I can tell someone why I liked a book or didn’t like a book, and they honestly want to know why. Or when I will debate the merits of a book with someone and have a legitimate discussion about the book. Thus you have the answer to why I would ever choose to be an English Lit major!

  2. tjs9261 says:

    It makes TOTAL sense to me…

  3. Menzie Campbell says:

    Wow. Jen just wrote the answer I would have written, had I been that articulate. That thing about doing the things you’re passsionate about… the first thing I thought of to “What makes you feel alive?” was “Organizing and Emcee-ing a Basset event”. It’s so much fun to do something you are passionate about!!!!! And, I also feel the same way about discussing books. Maybe Jen and I should join a virtual book club together! LOL

    The other things that make me feel alive are the little moments that happen all the time. As I (swiftly) approach 40, I’ve been trying to make the time to notice those moments, and stand still and take them in. Two weeks ago, I awoke right at dawn, at our new house out here in the country, looked out the window, and saw, about 50 yards away in the woods, a line of 5 deer tiptoe-ng through a dusting of snow. THAT was a moment. So is stepping outside the day after a rain, into bright sun and a freshening breeze, and being stunned by the clear brightness of the air and the smell of the fresh breeze. Or the first bite of a pizza from my faovrite place; I often close my eyes and stop chewing altogether, and take a moment or two to just FEEL the taste of it in my mouth. Things like that.

  4. Christine says:

    After pushing myself out of my comfort zone is when I feel most alive. A good example is when I accompany my husband to his conferences. I often have quite a bit of time to myself. It usually takes a pep-talk or two to myself to get my butt out of the hotel to take in a new city. But once I’m out and about, the thrill of discovering some place or something new is incredible! Then I go back to the hotel, talk my husband’s ear off about what I did, upload any photos I took and make plans for the next day.

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