Posted: January 15, 2010 in FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR
Tags: , , , ,

The jukebox is a very important component of a good bar.

It needs to have enough of a selection to keep things interesting but I don’t like these new jukeboxes connected to the internet. There’s no challenge or fun to jukebox selection if you can have ANY song.

A jukebox needs to not be of one type of music. It needs to have a variety. It can skew towards a genre but it shouldn’t be dominated by it.

I believe every jukebox should have:

1. Something by Elvis, Sinatra and the Beatles.

1a. “My Way” by either Elvis or Sinatra is acceptable. And Sinatra purists–don’t piss me off!

2. “Mack the Knife” by Bobby Darin

3. The Temptations, the Four Tops and/or the Supremes

4. “Havin’ A Party” by Sam Cooke

5. “Born to Run” Springsteen

6. “The Unicorn Song” by that sissy Irish guy

7. “Good Hearted Woman” by Waylon and Willie

8. “Sweet Caroline” (Note: if this encourages Red Sox fans to show up remove and replace with “Cracklin’ Rosie”)

9. Zepplin

10. Guilty Pleasure songs–Ice Ice Baby, Like a Virgin, YMCA, Oops, I Did it Again–songs that you like but won’t admit to. Classic shitty songs like The Pina Coloda Song, Have You Ever Been Mellow, Afternoon Delight, Brandy.

Bonus points for any of the following: Etta James, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, any version of Stagger Lee, Danny Boy, Bing’s White Christmas (all year).

What you might think you need but don’t: Lynnryd Skynnrd, Happy Birthday, The Electric Slide, The Macarena, anything currently in the top 100

  1. Jen Forbus says:

    “That sissy Irish guy” – oh, very nice! Ha!

    “Chantilly Lace” would have to be on my jukebox; I’ll take “Danny Boy” as long as Harry sings it. “I Cross My Heart” and “Check Yes or No.” “Maggie Mae” also needs to be on my jukebox. Something by Elton John, Billy Joel, Bryan Adams, maybe Huey Lewis…

    And I WILL unplug the jukebox everytime someone tries to play “White Christmas.”

    • tjs9261 says:

      okay, let’s break this down…

      The Big Bopper can stay.

      Elvis doing Danny Boy is better but Harry is all right and can stay.

      “Maggie May” is a perfect selection.

      “Corss My Heart” “Check Yes or No?” huh?

      “Piano Man” is allowed, even encouraged, but you’re getting on shaky ground here.

      Elton can stay as long it is before 1979.

      Only “The Summer of 69” is worthy of your Canadian rocker friend.

      “White Christmas” being hated is part of the lore.

      All in all, Forby, you’re selections were acceptable.

      • Jen Forbus says:

        Start around 1:45, don’t know why they left all the other stuff on the front end:

        And this one:

        Although “The Chair” is the greatest pick-up song of all time:

        And if you’re wondering about the other song; here it is (I never pass a chance to listen to this one):

  2. Jen Forbus says:

    Oh wait! One more that MUST be on my jukebox: “I’ll Take That as a Yes.”

  3. Jen Forbus says:

    Oops…sorry…didn’t mean to put that in there…only the link. You can delete it.

  4. Paula Matter says:

    “Get Over It” by Eagles

    “Old Time Rock & Roll” Bob Seger

  5. Pasquale Palumbo says:

    I think you also need a bunch of cheesy 80s Hair Metal in there as well–Bon Jovi, Def Leppard et al. You need some Guns N Roses.

    You also need a variety of blues artists. I will always want to hear some Allman Brothers Band.

    Of course, I’d always be happy with some Ramones and some Metallica, but a lot of people will disagree.

    What’s also helpful are killer movie soundtracks–they usually have all the good tunes without the crap that some albums feed you.

    • tjs9261 says:

      Which soundtracks? I think it’s important…

      Now, hair bands. I’m not sure. Are you positive they’re needed?

      I’ll give you the Allmans.

      The Ramones and Metallica, I’m not questioning relevance here, but on the jokebox? Hmmm…

  6. Pasquale Palumbo says:

    The Departed (or any Scorsese soundtrack, really esp. Goodfellas), Pulp Fiction, Forrest Gump, to name a few.

  7. Pasquale Palumbo says:

    BTW, the only person that could sing “My Way” as well as Sinatra was Elvis.

  8. le0pard13 says:

    A jukebox needs to not be of one type of music. It needs to have a variety.

    Well, in that case…

    • La Bamba (either by Ritchie Valens or Los Lobos)
    • I Heard It Through The Grapevine
    • Old Time Rock & Roll (kudos to Paula for this goodie)
    • Johnny B. Goode by Chuck Berry
    • Into The Night (though their completely different, either of those titled tracks by B.B. King or Santana)
    • In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
    • Summer Wind by Frank Sinatra
    • Layla (either the electric or acoustic versions by Clapton)
    • Santa Baby (if Tom can throw in White Christmas, I’ll throw in the legendary Eartha Kitt version of this)
    • Light My Fire (either the Feliciano or The Doors version)

    Fun post. Thanks, Tom.

  9. I’d want Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks…I mean, if I was in a bar and all… 🙂

  10. Christine says:

    In addition to the “Schlitz, bourbon and a basset hound” I’ll be bringing to this party, I’ve got a few songs for your consideration.

    Sitting on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding); Jungleland (Bruce Springsteen); Up on the Roof (The Drifters or James Taylor); 455 Rocket (Kathy Mattea); Middle of the Road (Pretenders); Finish What Ya Started (Van Halen) and Margaritaville (Jimmy Buffet)

    There’s been such great suggestions, I may just have to make a playlist on the iPod. I’ll call it Schreck n’ Crew. ;0)

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