FREE PSYCHOTHERAPY THURSDAY: On Not Being Miserable

Posted: December 31, 2009 in FREE PSYCHOTHERAPY THURSDAY
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Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, the type of therapy I’m trained in, makes an odd claim.

“Give us 3 to 5 sessions and we’ll teach you how not to be miserable!”

That’s not the sort of Herculean promise that will get you on a late night TV infomercial is it?

Think about it. Is happiness 24/7  really a viable goal?

What percentage of the day are you happy now? Are you happy doing the garbage, picking up after the dog or driving in traffic?

But wouldn’t your life improve immensely if you learned to not make a big deal of it and torment yourself about the little things in life that merely sucked?

The next time you’re in traffic try telling yourself something that will keep you from getting miserable.

Instead of: “This traffic is awful, I can’t stand it and it shouldn’t be this way!”

Try: “I’d prefer that the traffic not be so bad but it’s like this everyday so I certainly can stand it, even if I don’t like it.”

A word game? Definitely. But words are how we think. Words we tell ourselves lead to emotions.

Put out the fire on the inflammatory things we tell ourselves.

Things AREN”T miserable.

Sometimes they just suck.

Comments
  1. Jen Forbus says:

    Yes, well I’ve not been able to access my Twitter this morning. I’m trying your theory. It’s not so bad, right? I should be working anyway, right? I’m still getting grumpy and irritable, though. I guess I’m going to need the full five sessions to get the hang of this.

    Yep, it sucks!

  2. Jon Jordan says:

    Denis Leary said it best. “Life Sucks, get a helmet.”

    When I get irritated or “unhappy” i sing from Dr. Horrible’s Sing along Blog or Talking Heads. The everything get better.
    people don’t need therapy. They need I-Pods.

    • tjs9261 says:

      I will work on some grant funding to supply iPods to the free world….

      • Jon Jordan says:

        I like that idea. I-Pods for everyone. Plus if it helps cut down on interaction with some people it will cut down on stressful encounters.

        If everybody spent their days singing we’d be much better for it.

      • tjs9261 says:

        cutting down with the interaction with some people–another headphone bonus!

  3. Jen Forbus says:

    I don’t know about all that now, Jon! I don’t think anyone would be better off with ME singing! But, I’ll be happy to listen…

  4. Hi – just a brief note to say kudos for this article. Very helpful.

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