THE WHO…WHY?

Did anyone else find themselves cringing at The Who during the halftime show?

Was it the 10, two-minute versions of their greatest hits like a bad K-tel commercial? Was it knowing that these guys, are what? Mid 60’s doing songs about teenage angst? Was it the out of place get ups on senior citizens? Was it the contrived, way over the top lights, bells and whistles?

Join the Club over at Face!book

Why do they do it? Is it just cash? The intoxication of the attention?

In college, The Who was the edgier alternative to Springsteen (who did a half time show equally as weird.) The guys who were into The Who were hardcore and saw themselves as tough.

I couldn’t help but wonder how they felt last night. Pushing 50 themselves, did they get nostalgic or did they feel embarrassed?

Can you play rock ‘n roll when you’re old? Is it any different than those revival shows that Chuck Berry, The Drifters and The Platters do?

To tour with The Drifters and The Platters next?

Old people doing what was popular a long time ago when they were young feels strange. Like fat fifty-something guys talking about their touchdown in the homecoming game in high school.

That famed philosopher, Ricky Nelson, penned “Garden Party” after getting booed at Madison Square Garden for not doing enough oldies.

He wrote:

“If memories were all I sang, I’d rather drive a truck.”

‘Course Rick died in a plane crash smoking crack after performing at an oldies show.

Still, I think he got it right in “Garden Party.”

Roger and Pete ought to apply for CDL licenses.

SATURDAY ROLE MODEL: Steve McQueen, The Great Ecape

Steve McQueen.

How can anyone look so cool in a sweatshirt and khakis? He even looks cool throwing that weird body block into the Nazi guard. He made it believable.

Give him a motorcycle and it’s off the charts.

A baseball and glove and “Cooler” from the head kraught and Steve wasn’t flustered.

Maybe the coolest theme song ever and Attenborough, Colburn, Bronson, Garner, Pleasance make this the greates guy movie ever.

I feel like stealing an army motorcycle and going for a ride. I just might if I can get the theme on iTunes.

FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR: What Makes a Good Bartender

What makes a good bartender?

How hard can it be? You pour drinks, you take money and you put in in the register, right?

That’s like saying “Brain surgeon? you cut into cranium, you cut out tumor, you sew the head back up. How hard can it be?”

No, good bartenders are harder to find than left overs at Oprah’s house.

Here’s what good bartenders do and don’t do:

1. No matter how busy the place is they get you a drink within minutes.

2. If the place is empty they engage you in conversation, if you want it. They don’t talk a lot in these cases but they pay attention to you.

3. They know that the TV is to be on sports or the news only. If the joint was empty and they were watching a movie they switch it when you sit down.

4. They handle drunks, loud mouths and trouble makers quickly and elegantly in ways that go almost unnoticed. A guy gets a little loud and drops and F-Bomb, they get a look, then they get a whisper and then they get told to leave.

5. They know how to break up a fight efficiently. They don’t hurdle the bar and start slamming people around. Like a hockey ref, they wait for their opportunity, intervene and get the fighters out the door. It’s all about getting them out the door.

6. They stay out of conversations they aren’t involved in. If they are in the conversation they can get as involved as they want, as long as no one has to wait for a drink. They don’t intrude.

7. When the phone rings they don’t say anyone is there. They say they’ll look. If you’re there but don’t want others to know, the bartender says “I haven’t seen ‘em.”

8. They don’t spin bottles and juggle glasses. They have a complete economy of motion and don’t look hurried.

9. They tip you off when the food isn’t good. “Stay away from the turkey salad.” “The wings look small this week.” or “i didn’t care for the chili myself.” Trust what they say. They eat there.

10. They don’t primp. Their hygiene is good and they’re presentable. Over concern about hair, too much attention to fashion, trendy looks, slick approaches to female customers are out. If they want to do that on their free time, fine. But this isn’t a stage to score chicks.

There’s far too much serious work to be done.

FREE PSYCHOTHERAPY THURSDAY: Acceptance

Mick Jagger was right.

You can’t always get what you want.

The world isn’t fair, predictable or consistent. Other people are flawed, often self-absorbed and frequently annoying. Life is full of poor sleep, too much to do and not enough pleasure.

If you had to estimate what percentage of the time you would describe your mood as happy, what would you come up with? Most people, most honest people anyway, come up with about 10% or less.

In many ways, life sucks then you die.

The answer is simple: acceptance.

Instead of demanding in your nutty head that the world and the people in it be anything other than the way they are, accept things as they are.

Accept that life is often annoying and unfair.

Accept that people are often a pain in the ass.

Accept that most of the time you’ll not be thrilled at circumstances.

This doesn’t mean not to try to make yourself happy, it doesn’t mean to be a negatron and it doesn’t mean you have an excuse to hate everyone.

But being realistic gives you the freedom to choose your state. Figure out what gives you the most fulfillment and go after it. Along the way accept life’s imperfections and deal with them. This means accepting your own crummy traits.

Sure you procrastinate, sure you’re a blamer and sure you have bouts of laziness. Accept them, try to change them but don’t demand that you be anything other than what you are.

This life is what it is. Stop pretending and demanding that it’s going to be something else and go after what thrills you.

Acceptance probably won’t lead to a state of bliss. But it will reduce miserableness.

It will also give you the vision to go after what you really want to do with a realistic perspective.

WEDNESDAY WRITING TIP: Everyday No Matter What?

Over at http://heydeadguy.typepad.com buddy, Jeff Cohen wrote about his writing “diet.”

He’s got a contracted book due and he figures if he writes 1,000 words a day he’ll be in good shape,

I try for 1,000 a day. However, when I have a magazine article to do I skip book stuff. When I write a section of my book and end up with 750 words I stop rather than write the beginning of the next section.

Jeff doesn’t. He writes 250 words of the next section.

Cohen has the discipline thing down and I hate him.

I can’t figure when to take a legit day off.  Wouldn’t it make sense to take a mental health day once in a while? How do you know when you’re due for one? How do you know it’s that evil beast procrastination?

Some days I write this instead of writing my novel. Some times the enemy of the best isn’t the worst–some times it’s the very good.

Okay, time to decide when to take a day off.

I declare that you skip a day when your instincts tell you to. That’s the best I got.

I’m trying to come up with a “once every ten days,” “once a week”,” three days a month,” “36 hours before the winter solstice” …nothing feels right.

You anything better?

CONSPIRACY TUESDAY: Vietnam Escalation

The Gulf of Tonkin Resolution granted LBJ the power to order aggressive military action against any South East Asian country in order to stop “communist aggression.” It came about as a reaction to an incident where three North Vietnameese torpedo boats allegedly fired on two American destroyers. It was seen as an aggressive act and gave the politicians the support of the American populace to get really, really involved in Vietnam.

Other accounts say the US destroyers fired first, unprovoked, while others say they fired warning shots.

LBJ was later quoted as saying “For all I know, our navy was shooting at whales out there.”

Nice.

Apparently, a radar operator read his gauges wrong and determined that a torpedo had been fired at US ships. Ok, fine, human error, it can happen, right?

Yeah, well, error is probably forgivable. Taking that error and deliberately acting like it actually happened isn’t. That’s what occurred. It’s disputed whether the National Security Agency lied to cover up their goofiness or to get the war they wanted.

Regardless, it was after the resolution that we started pouring soldiers into the war.

Declassified NSA and CIA documentation clearly shows that our military knew nothing had happened.

Yet, LBJ went on TV and said these suckers had to be stopped.

58,260 US soldiers were killed in action in Vietnam

According to the Vietnamese government, 1,100,000 Vietnamese were killed.

INDIE BOOKSTORE OF THE WEEK: VJ BOOKS

VJ Books

PO Box 3131

Tualatin, Oregon

http://www.vjbooks.com

Today, we have a quick chat with another one of the heroes to us mystery writers. John of VJ Books has been in business for 14 Years.

Do you have a speciality?

We specialize in signed and collectible mystery, science fiction and

horror titles. We also produce the limited (numbered and lettered)

editions of the works of Clive Cussler.

What are YOUR favorite styles in the genre? Who are your favorite

authors?

Clive Cussler, Vince Flynn, Stephen Hunter, James Rollins, Steve Berry

What do you get tired of in mysteries?

Not sure there is anything that tires me – the genre and it’s authors

are bold, imaginative folks that continue to amaze me with their

creations!

What do you find boring? exciting?

I like the collaborative works that are coming out (Watchlist edited by

Jeffery Deaver, with 23 other contributing writers, The ITW’s Thriller 2

series).

What direction would you like to see the genre go in?

I would like to see the publishers getting back to promoting start-up

authors. So much money is invested in the knowns (James Patterson, for

example) that oft-times the Grant Blackwood’s, Blake Crouch’s and Andrew

Petersen’s get lost in the shuffle.

The Duffy Dombrowski Fight Club: Obama, Michele’s lip gloss, Vick, My date with Beyonce

1. I find the first lady’s lip gloss distracting on that Haiti commercial.

2. The standing ovations/non standing ovations at the State of the Union Address seem really goofy–like something in preschool.

3. I’m glad the Saints are in the Superbowl. I think if I lost everything in Katrina I’d resent the notion that the NFL franchise in the city winning a game would be curative for me.

Join the Club over at Face!book

4. I wonder how Michael Vick is doing on his dog charity work and if Tony Dungy has encouraged his follow through.

5. Obama and I are about the same age. I think when he trots down the Air Force One stairs and holds his hands like a guy entering a NBA game it looks cool. But I don’t think it looks real or presidential.

6. I sparred three rounds on Saturday with a guy training for a fight. My back is so stiff it is hard to bend over, walk or sleep. I think my age may not limit my ability but it limits how hard I can train because of crap like this. I think i understand why older pros get attracted to steroids. It would be nice to workout and not pay the absurd consequences of Mother Nature.

7. I had an incredibly busy weekend jumping from one task to another. By Sunday night I was resentful and should’ve planned more time for fun.

8. I’m going to Birmingham Alabama this weekend for two mystery lover events. I would prefer no ice storms and would like to not sleep in an airport.

9. I’m doing my best to stay neat and organized. I don’t know how people do it. I feel like there’s a choice between getting shit done and being neat. If I did less I’d be neater and more organized. Is that a cop out?

10. If I was single, never met my wife and if she never existed, and Beyonce asked me out on a date, I’d go.

SATURDAY ROLE MODEL: Mickey Rourke

Can you possibly get cooler?

FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR:Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Songs

Alright, we all got ‘em.

Favorite tunes we don’t like to admit to liking.

Over time bad songs become kitschy and acceptable. You can wear them like a badge of honor.

But while they are contemporary, you can’t admit to liking them. Can’t, that is, if you want to have any rep at all.

Guilty Pleasure Songs come as you age. When you’re a teenager or a young twenty-something you haven’t paid your dues yet. You can’t adopt older songs not from your era as your own GPS. You have to have lived through them.

Having lived through the disco era and the 80’s I have no shortage of GPS.

Remember they have to be bad not just from an outdated era.

Without further delay, here are my Top 5 all time GPS

5.  Rock and Roll All Night–Kiss

Look, I know some people take KISS seriously. I can’t, not as an adult. I remember being a high school freshman listening to this and even then knew it was sort of cheesy. I still do and i still love it.

4. Kiss Me Deadly- Lita Ford

Gotta quarter?

What a great horny teenager song! Which is a little weird to really love when you’re 48.

3.  Laughter in the Rain–Neil Sedaka

Yes, I consider myself unmistakably masculine. Yes, this a man with a sexy woman’s voice. Yes, I love this song.

2. The Pina Colada Song– some dude named Rupert Holmes

Bad lyrics, really bad lyrics. Bad synth music. Bad vocals.

I freakin’ love this song.

And think about it. Whoever wrote this gem, if they kept the rights and invested it properly would never have to work again their life. That’s for writing:

I was tired of my lady

We’d been together too long

Like a worn out recording

Of a favorite song.

Think about that the next time you get a rejection letter for your 100k word manuscript

And my number one, all time GPS..a song as good as “Don’t Be Cruel,” “Born to Run,” ” Start Me Up” “Brown Eyed Girl” “Hey Jude”… except that I could never, ever admit it:

1. Kung Fu Fighting– Carl Douglas

Are you kidding–it doesn’t get any better.

Just the line “There were funky Chinamen from funky Chinatown” would’ve been enough. Just the wa-wa 70’s guitar work and just the “Woaoo-ooo’s” combined with the bad cliche Charlie Chan background would’ve been enough. This sucker had it all.

Brilliant.

Just try to write something as good as:

“From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip.”

Carl Douglas, I bow to you Sensei!

Here are the complete lyrics:

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing

They were funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down
It’s an ancient Chinese art and everybody knew their part
From a feint into a slip, and kicking from the hip

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing

There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand
The sudden motion made me skip now we’re into a brand knew trip

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they did it with expert timing

(repeat)..make sure you have expert timing
Kung-fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning